2016 is only halfway done but it sure has been a roller-coaster. This has been perhaps one of the busiest years ever, being characterized by a lot of 'firsts': first job, first this, first that, and of course turning the Big 22. That notwithstanding, this year has brought with it some lessons, both good and bad and I thought it best that I share some of these experiences, this being the first article the year.
1. Know Yourself.
So on my birthday, a friend of mine got me this teenage-looking book about discovering one's worth. Thinking that 'I had attained,' I quickly wrote it off as one of those self-help books for depressed teenagers, struggling with self-esteem. I am definitely not a teenager, neither am I depressed (well, not in the very sense of the word) but to my amazement, that book had a lot of insights that every what-year-old could make use of. And it is then that I discovered that maybe I was the teenager still, maybe I was struggling with those low bouts of esteem.
See, in each of us, God placed a desire to love and be loved. We all feel the need to be appreciated but the problem comes in when there seems to be no way of satisfying this need. The common way that seems readily available (at least on my end, and I discovered that I use it unconsciously) is to look at that one being that seems to get the most attention and try as hard as possible to be like them.
However, one lesson I have come to learn is that by doing so, I hurt myself in the process. Not only that, I rob the world of my individuality, my uniqueness. I may not be the prettiest, smartest, but there can never be another like me.
The solution then is to know myself, to love myself and be content with me. All real self-esteem comes from an appreciation of who one is, why one exists and going hard about being yourself. Yes, we may have our flaws, yes we may not match up to the next person but who says we have to be like X for us to be happy? The fact that God saw it fit to create a crazy, weird, Madaliso who is fearfully and wonderfully made is enough!
2. Live for a Purpose
My second struggle was knowing why I am alive. I do not think I was just created to be the 14th million individual on earth and that is all. There is indeed a purpose for our being alive and until that purpose is realized we shall merely continue to exist and not live.
In the creation account, God had a purpose for everything He created:
"And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven TO DIVIDE THE DAY FROM THE NIGHT..."[Genesis 1:14]
If the lights were created for a purpose, what more man? So my challenge this year was to know the reason for my existence. I cannot say that I have attained but I know am on my way. That is my challenge to you: think critically about your life. Are you living your purpose? Do you even know your purpose? Let not this year go by without having had time to know this.
3. Be Real
This is perhaps one of the biggest lessons I have learnt this year. So, one day I was given a task at work, and being the timid me, I decided not to ask how to do it and guess what, I made a mess! A good friend and team-mate told me something:
"Do not be afraid to ask. Nobody expects you to know everything."
You are probably wondering what this has to do with being real, oh but it has everything! You see, I discovered that I had set unrealistic goals and standards in my life, and that was amongst the reasons why I never made significant progress on most of them. And so I had to wake up from the dream that I could be an island, wake up from the dream that I could be a perfectionist and be happy, wake up from the dream that people do not have weaknesses, wake up from the dream that all days will be sunny.
Being real borders on every aspect of our lives. It is call to be honest with oneself, even if you don't like the idea because it only when we are honest; when we are real that we can change for the better, and become the persons we want to be.
These are not all the lessons I have learnt, but most of them stem from the three: to know self, to live for a purpose and to be real about it.
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